Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Reading Response to Carrie Mullenholz "Normalcy"

  So I like the idea with where this is going. You have a college girl who is very close to her mother, as stated in the opening paragraph, and is ultimately betrayed when she finds out that her mother has been cheating on her father and sudden the shift of loving her mother more goes to the father.
  You have a very good setup for your speaker. Mainly that initial paragraph dealing with the flowers. Your speaker just seems so fleshed out and so natural when she talks to people and when she experiences grief. Another good thing is your descriptive use. You give good details on the setting, even though most of it is subtle, which isn't a bad thing. The part in particular was when so was running back to the house and she trips. You have this fast paced moment where the speaker in distress and doesn't necessarily know what is going on around her but you manage to make it believable in the things she does comment on. I feel a lot of writers miss that.
  Places where I can see you to improve is dealing with the father. We don't really know that much about him and he really doesn't take hold of his character until the speaker goes back to college and she calls him every night. Another thing is the last conversation we get between the speaker and the father in the summer on page 5, it seems to...ehh...I want more out of the conversation. I want to see her react to this information about a woman she has trusted so much just devastate her to the point of being broken down. I understand his reaction to the recent actions of his wife but this is all new to the speaker. Lastly I feel that the ending could be changed. Everything seems to be summed up, not all nicely but enough to make the reader happy. I feel like the ending we have can work but it need to be another page longer. Have a bigger argument between them. Make us see how much the mother hurt her daughter and how much the daughter is hurt.

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