You sure know how to make some tension. While I was a bit surprised that a fire happened and that it killed Trevor's brother, I really enjoyed the argument Trevor and Hanna had between one another. Not that it was a good thing but it felt really natural and you poured so much emotion out of Trevor in that one big rant he did. It made me want to dislike Hanna even more. Also You do a good job of describing Hanna based off of her attitude about herself. There is a line on page two that made me chuckle, where she is trying to figure out what to where, it just seems so genuine.
One thing that bugged me was that you forces these situations for Hanna to say and feel so different from Trever that it takes away what I like about her. I didn't understand why Hanna would want to break up with Trevor just based on a dinner that I have no idea what happened. You give a short description about how Trevor's parents were being good parents to her but we don't get any thought about it. I want to see that dinner and I want to see Hanna struggle emotionally at it. It would make a whole lot more sense to me if I saw why she felt so different internally Trevor to lead to her breaking up with him. Also add some little spurts of information between the fire and the funeral. Like a line or two of what Hanna is thinking as days go by.
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