I have to say I really enjoyed this story. To give it some praise, you do a great job of explaining to us, the reader, what this place is, this "artificial pool" and you do a very good job of putting us at that landscape. Also your descriptive use of everything that is going on is also great. One of my favorite lines is "A syrupy pink puddle spread over the tile by her feet." Another thing is how you describe the workers. You give them blank faces with blank eyes, as to having been trapped in this 'perfect' world has made them dull and lose what self they do have.
I like the idea of having mention what is going on outside this perfect environment and that fact that our main character is aware of that. I feel like one of the main points to this story is that to Kate there is no realness to what is happening on this vacation, or school funded trip, whatever it may be. And when your tension seen happens, it felt as sudden to me as it did to Kate. For some reason or another I didn't see that coming.
One thing that bothered me was I got a lot of information about Lily, and not enough about Kate. You really describe Lily's character almost in her entirety: her personality, her home life, and her school life. And I feel like that was necessary to the fact that we are meant to greatly dislike her. BUt I am left wanting more from Kate. All I know is that she is very smart, has a scholarship, and is somewhere in the middle class range. If we had more knowledge about Kate's background I feel as though it would make her character really come out and draw the reader in to appreciate her even more.
No comments:
Post a Comment